Yahoo! Answers Dilemma

I said:


How do you know if you have ingrown testicles?
I can feel two small lumps in my perineum. Are these maybe my testicles that haven't dropped yet? I don't know very much about anatomy so I'm not sure, but it's been really bothering me. Especially because my girlfriend and I were going to have sex the other day and she got kind of freaked out because... Something was missing. Help!!!




They said:


Best Answer - Chosen by Voters
You do have a scrotum right?
There have to be two balls.nuts or testicles in it.
If not:they haven't dropped yet
Time to see your Dr then
It can mess up your virility later.
Colors
Source(s):
Biology degree


Some other answers:
See a doc man!!! Your name is Mary, have you ever thought, that MAYBE you might be a Chick? There was a whole Episode on House about this subject. I think there ARE testicles in that general area, but they don't belong to you.


Mary eh?

Maybe your penis is missing.

You know what a perineum is but you don't know if you have testicles. Gawd save us all.


If your testicles are in the sac, they've dropped pal. Those lumps could be an inlarged prostate, inflamed vein, or cancer. Either way go to a doctor.,


Your balls should be in the sac unless you are a girl "Mary" in that case you have no testicles!


for your own sake, GO SEE A DOCTOR


thats not realy normal LMAO my ballz allways been in my sack hahahahaha


Unsuccessful troll is unsuccessful


not normal bro

Oh no!

This iz a first 4 me - okay, so I wuz watching porn 2day as usual and came upon this cinematographic gem.

It actually almost made me cry! It wuz, like, compassion or something. I felt bad for the ho, and that guy wuz totes an asshole!

On a brighter note, this makes me really happy:

Turd Raider

Let's see here.... cheesy action, gun violence, creepy-cave-exploring, a villainous geek, a horribly inappropriate soundtrack, no coherent plot, and a toilet-paper-carrying heroine pinching a loaf wherever she goes: This is probably the funniest, most horrifying, disgustingly amusing film I HAVE EVER SEEN

The ending is the best part! I'm not goin 2 spoil it 4 u, so I guess you'll just have to watch it all! Ahahahahaha

Analysis of a Porno, part I

I've been watching a TON of porn this weekend, instead of studying for finals or working on final projects. I figured it was more productive. Especially so since I became inspired to become the next Harold Bloom. I decided if I'm ever going to be a good critic, I've gotta start from the bottom and work my way up.

Hence, I watched this, and criticized accordingly:

http://www.shooshtime.com/videos/79093_College-Couple-Fuck-On-Live-Justin-TV-Stream.html

- These people aren't actually into each other. Watch the first four minutes.
- Approximately 11 minutes in to exactly 15:11, the bitch is faking it. TOTALLY. I suspect her wimpering noises are actually indicative of discomfort.
- Evidence: Does the guy make any noise when getting his dick sucked? Not really, so why should she...?
Intermission at 18:50. Ma came in to say goodnight, asked what I wuz doing on my computer, "Uh uh uh some serious computations Ma, it'd blow yer mind, I really can't show u, GOOD-NIGHT!"
- At about 20:21, they're talking about the weather or some shit. Can you figure out what's on the slut's TV? I'm guessing the Today show, but I think it might just be the news.
- Shortly thereafter, penetration. Boooooooooooooooring, *yawn* Props for fucking without a condom, though.
- 21:59 : Dude looks seriously uncomfortable.
- 21 - 25:25 SHUT UPPPPP, BITCH! Nice cumshot, at least.
- 29:08 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
- 30, approximate, "I always cum, how can I not?" I can name a few ways...
- STOP RUBBING YOUR EYES! You'll get herpes.

Wisdom learned from the slut: working out DOES pay off.
Overall, a very attractive "couple." (Even though I didn't like the dude's hair/clothes) I just wish there wasn't audio! B+

OMFG, IT HAS A MOTHER!!!!!!!!

The Metamorphosis

"When Gregor Samsa woke up one morning from unsettling dreams, he found himself changed in his bed into a monstrous vermin."

Boredom, loneliness, etc. etc. etc.

I just about shit a cat when I watched this.

And here's an ad I posted on craigslist this evening:

Hi.
I've had this fantasy for a while, and I was wondering if anyone would be interested in participating...
I come over to your place for a couple of drinks. After we're a bit more relaxed I'll pull out a couple of masks from my purse for us to put on - Panda for me, Wolf for you. You'll then open the blinds in your living room and turn on all the lights, proceeding to rip off all my clothes and fuck me in the ass in front of the window (if you live in an apartment complex, or on a relatively busy street, this would be ideal). It would be great if you know someone who would be willing to film all of this, from outside. After you're done with my ass, you can move on to my pussy if you want as long as you are aggressive and use a different condom.
Me: 5'9'', 135 lbs, brown/green
You: 6'2'' ish, approx. 175 lbs, blonde (I will, however, make exceptions)
Replies with pictures get preference.

I GOT SO MANY RESPONSES! But all from like, fat assholes. Help a nigga out, plz!

My heroes

This is my new favorite.


I don't understand how I missed it before - and instead of being disgusted or angry, I'm quite impressed. If I was a guy, I'd totally do this shit.
Although... it'd probs be more vulgar since I'm a girl. I go on vacation next week, so we'll see!

What ever happened to...

...this girl:





Unfortunately, this is a wayyy less-creepy digression than usual but --- seriously, I want to know! I BET YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HER FUCKING NAME, WHILE I (on the other hand) WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!!!

Haiti has competition

E-mail

To: amad@yahoo.com
From: johnson@yahoo.com


dear amad,

how i think of you. how i love you. how i long to hear the sweet whispers
of your voice. you captivate me. you envelope your essence around me each
time we meet. hoping to see you again soon, only not soon enough my
darling.

your lover,

johnson




To: johnson@yahoo.com
From: amad@yahoo.com

johnson,

I had a dream about you last night. We were really drunk at a party and I really had to pee and you helped me to the bathroom. Then we hung out there for a while until all these bitchez came in and were like, "Are you guys fucking on the floor?! Eww, disgusting!"
The only problem is that I think this might have actually happened.
Which I'm kind of totally fine with.
We might wanna go get tested later this week, cuz from what I remember a suspicious character joined us on the floor later that night and if I do recall correctly he had some anomalies "down there."

In other news - do you by chance remember that fat creepy stupid psychopath mexican guy I worked with at p---'s? (no, not n---.) His name wuz r---; he was the one who was in jail like five times for beating up his girlfriend/wife in a drunken stupor and was simultaneously dating a 16 year old...when he was like 35. I mean, I shouldn't be one to take issue with that, but his kids were also at the time like 8 and 11 or something. ANYWAY, about a year ago he randomly came to my house to say hi (I didn't invite him in, but he managed to extract an awkward hug from me. (I hate it when guys)/(I hate guys who) don't have any upper-body muscle mass and sport B-cup man-breasts think it's okay to TOUCH ME ICK ICK ICK ICKKKKKKKK. So, he came to my house last night. Again.

Luckily, my mom was there to save my ass. I was in my room when the doorbell rang; she came to tell me that some guy was here for me, and I said "Who??????" and she said, "Some guy named r---" and I SAID "IS HE A FAT MEXICAN?" AND SHE SAID "YES," AND I SAID "HELLZ NO I'M NOT DEALING WITH THIS I'M NOT TALKING TO HIM DON'T LET HIM IN MAKE HIM GO AWAY I'M NOT HEREEEEEEEEEEE."
And she did! But not before her too-trusting boyfriend let him in. Fucking tard sometimes! Swear to god.

I hope he gets HIV/AIDS.
Who am I talking about?
That's fer u to decide, babe.

-Coco

P.S. Speaking of, I've been thinking a lot about spring break/cancun. I'm in love with f---, and I'm also in love with you. So... anything goes, OKAY?!?!?!???!?!??!?!??!?!?




To: amad@yahoo.com
From: johnson@yahoo.com

sick. sick balls.

Big changez

So Alfonso finally broke up with me. I was kind uv sad, so I bought a big box of chocolates and rented a romantic comedy to cheer me up.

That wuz two weeks ago. The janitor at the hospital told me later that I COULD HAVE ALMOST DIED (I guess that combination is pretty dangerous!) and then asked me out on a date.

So, like, we've been fucking for a couple weeks and it's getting pretty seriouz or whatev but the thing IS is that I still have feelings for Alfonso (obvs).

I sent him this card for Valentine's Day... but he hasn't txted me or anything yet.

I hope he takes me back :(

Mystery: Solved

The other day I realized the root of all my problems (with my boyfriend).

I'm actually a panda bear -



See, it all makes perfect sense:
I have no libido.
I don't know how to make luv.
I'm aggressive without provocation during 4play, but otherwise lazy as fuck.
I like licorice.
I'm a little black, a little white.

The only thing that concerns me is that I might go extinct.

But thankfully, those fucking Chinese guys sort of came up with a solution - group sex and learning-by-doing!

I'm going to post an ad on craiglist rite now!

Vag

Oh, and I decided five minutes ago that I'm never going to get a pap smear or none uv dat shit! Fuck you, healthcare!

My sex life

Okay, first of all, this girl is a badass.

So me n my boyfriend have been having sum problems since the holidays, like, we haven't been, ummmm, you know, really having sex at all. He's been, umm umm umm umm having problems with his... you know, and getting it in my, er, you know -

Anyway, he felt bad so he bought me this! It's been great:


In other news, I've been going to night skool over the phone (it's so much fun!) and I've decided to become a novelist. Check back soon for my latest shit! ;)

Brad and Angelina split, disregard children

OMG when I was checking my Yahoo! mail this came up - I was super shocked, to say the least:

Say it ain't so - Brangelina might soon be just Brad and Angelina.
The Hollywood power couple is headed for splitsville, London's News of the World reported Saturday.
Citing sources, the paper said Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have met with California divorce lawyers and have agreed to divide their vast fortune.
It's worth an estimated $330 million and includes mansions in France, New Orleans and Los Angeles.
In legal papers signed by the unmarried stars this month, the world's most famous couple also have decided to give back their twenty-seven adtoped kids, sources say.
The couple will file un-adoption papers this week, a source told the Daily News.
"The contract was like a tailor-made version of a prenuptial agreement," a source told the British tab.
"It seemed clear they want the world to know they'll both decline to play a part in the upbringing of the children."
It's unclear when the contract will go into effect. "But the paperwork is already organized for a breakup - and for it to be as messy for them as possible," the source said. "It is clear it's a case of when they break up rather than if."

Source: nydailynews.com

Wow! I had no idea they had that many kids.