Ohhh...baby...more...

Yesterday was my pal's birthday, so I made him a cake.


Then, I realized that he couldn't possibly join me to eat it cuz we don't live in the same citty (duh!), so I ate some for both of us:





Aren't I sweet?!

My new kitten-cats!

I got two new kitties today! I'm so excited! I went to Petco and they had a bunch - they looked so sad, they were all in cages, so I picked the cutest one they had to take home with me:





I walked around the store for a little bit longer and decided to get another cat - it was kind of confusing, because he was stuck in this cage with all these rat-type things and I thought to myself "Don't cats chase rats?" But I didn't think about it too much and bought him anyway cuz he was just too cute to leave behind:

I got a letter in the mail today!

It said:

"Oh, how we hate goodbyes...but we know you really love good buys!
That's why we're reaching out to you now.
You haven't shopped with us in a while, but we wanted to let you know that with C- you can afford to shop again. (With these prices how can you afford not to!)
Buying clothing may not seem like something you can easily justify these days, but C- is here to help. Our new looks are ones you will love, ones that you'll turn to again and again, long outlasting your initial investment. Simply put, our low prices make the styles you love all the more worth it! Times are hard enough, why sacrifice shopping all together when you can just shop smarter at C-.
To encourage you to give C- another chance during these sparse fashion times, we'd like to offer you this Style Stimulus Offer!
Please see below for your exclusive Stimulus Coupon which allows you to buy any item and receive a second item of your choice FREE! (details below)
Talk about getting the most for your money! It's a smart investment for your closet (and your sanity). Buy the gorgeous top, get the jeans FREE. Buy the tailored suit jacket get the matching pants FREE.
The choice is yours and the options to save are endless. And that, you'll find is just one of the many benefits of smart shopping with C-.

Sincerely,
J-"


I was flabbergasted, so I immediately flipped through the catalog and ordered $300 worth of foreign-made clothing. What a deal!

A holy miracle -

- just in time for Easter! This morning I went for a run in the forest, not anticipating I would enter a damned non-believer and exit a new woman, full of faith not only in humanity but in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Here's what I saw:





Notice the bunny in the bottom left corner. When I first saw him, I did a doubletake - he was about the size of a regular rabbit, you know, tiny, but as I got closer I noticed that it was really a tiny man in a bunny suit, beckoning me with (what I hoped was) a burger and fries. I ran after him and soon we came to a hidden waterfall, where he began to take off his suit (he wasn't wearing anything underneath, mmm).


I realized then that he was in fact Jesus - hence the scraggly beard. He told me I was one of God's children, and he said that even though I was in a lot of anguish over my sexual identity it would all turn out okay, and that I would be saved. We then made love for hours and hours, and I finished my run knowing that everything I had shunned as a little girl was, in fact, true.

Why is no one interested?

I just posted this on craigslist last week:


"I like the out doors but when the weather gets cold im a bit of a hermit. i like movies and books, but prefer to stay in as to going to the movies.i love country music. im not a big TV person, but i do like C S I and Cold case Files.i dont really like talking about myself unless im asked. im a very open person about my life.Im looking for someone who likes kids and isn't put off by the fact that i cant find a baby sitter all the time.i love country music."


It was under the casual encounters section, w4m of course!, but it's been about five days now and no one has hit me up.
Why?
I want some answers. :(

The other day, at skool

We all had to introduce ourselves, name and occupation and hobbies and height and weight, so I said: "Clementine, bartendress, makin' music, one-fitty, just shy of six feet."

They just kind of looked at me, I think they might have wanted something more...? This one gal mos-def gave something more for the whole class, she said: "Hi, my name's blahblahblah-blayh, I have three children and an ex-husband and am currently seeing this WONderful guy, I work two jobs, one in the morning and one at night (here, she paused to wink) and this is my first time taking blahblahblah (I'm just trying to protect everyone's privacy, naturally), I think I'll really enjoy it but I might need some help with the homework, so if any of you guys could help me that'd be great, I enjoy swimming in the ocean and I don't have a height and weight."

I clapped, and They looked again - that's okay, I thought it was neat. I gave her my number, in case she ever needs sum help.

Today I played tennis. It was neat. I also went for a run. And a walk. Those were neat too. Then I ate a baked apple. That was pretty neat.

Then that girl called me, which was neat until she wouldn't stop talking - I hung up and when she asks me about it next class I'm going to tell her my "little brother" got on our dial-up connection and booted me offa the phone.

Yay!

Cutie-pie kitten-cake!

Here's my brand-new kitty. He really likes to lick himself, all over the place:





Aww, how adorable!





What a darlin'!





Almost done...





Almost done...?





Oops! Too much!